Emotions Serve a Purpose

We all have emotions; we might call them feelings, sentiments, passion, or affection. But what purpose do they serve?

Emotions Tell Others Something About Us. Emotions influence the way a person looks and acts. Sometimes these responses happen without thinking and are hard to change. Others often respond to what they see. For example, “I am hurt...I raise my voice...Others assume I am angry and protect themselves.”

Emotions Organize and Motivate Action. Emotions motivate behavior; for example, anger can put us into a fight, flight, or freeze (numbing) response. Emotions connected to action are often “hard-wired.” Do you tend to do the same thing when a strong emotion comes along? Emotions also save us time to act without thinking. We don’t have to think everything through. Strong emotions can help us overcome obstacles--in our mind and the environment.

Emotions Can Be Accurate or Inaccurate. Sometimes our emotional response is based on instinct, sometimes on facts, sometimes not.

Emotions Can Be Self-Validating. Our emotional reactions to other people and events can give us information about the situation. Emotions can be signals or alarms that something is happening. When this is carried to an extreme, emotions are treated as facts: “If I feel incompetent, I am.” “If I feel right about something, it is right.” “If I’m afraid it is threatening.” “I love him, so he must be OK.” Remember, emotions are NOT facts.

Emotions are not good or bad, but they can be useful or destructive. When we start to become aware of our emotions, label them, understand them, then we can improve our relationships, daily life, and parenting.